He Is Calling You Too

Every now and then when we tell people that we are foster parents and that 3 of our 4 children are adopted, we get this admiring, “awe” preceded by the next admiring comment of, “You guys are amazing, I could never do that.”  Truth is that not everyone is meant to be a foster or adoptive parent and we are far from amazing. We have just been blessed with a calling to serve and to love vulnerable children. 

Quite frankly, it is probably better for someone to be honest with them self and acknowledge that they really aren’t called to foster and that it is perfectly okay.  In James 1:27 it states, “Religion that God our Father finds pure and faultless is this; to look after the orphans and the widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”  This passage of scripture is very clear in stating that we are being commanded to care for the orphans (and widows) of this world. It does not clearly state that we are all to adopt or do foster care.  None the less, He is calling you, all of us, into this ministry.

                I have to be completely honest; I am so very glad and thankful for those who are not called for fostering.  I know that may sound crazy, of course I want every child to be welcomed into a loving home, I want them to find a forever family; I want them safe, fed, nurtured, and loved.  However, if everyone were to embrace fostering, who would be there in the supportive roles that need to be filled?  I have so many friends who know that right now in their life they are unable to commit to being a foster parent; they know that they have no desire to be foster parents, etc. Whatever their reason, God has not placed this call on their heart.  These people have been blessed with a different, yet equal gift.  They have been given the gift of supporting those of us who are called to foster.  Without them, our job would be virtually impossible.

                Being a foster parent is not an easy task. Reality is that fostering requires a great deal of sacrifice from you and your forever family.  You bring a child into your home with the goal of nurturing, loving, and hopefully helping them heal.  That child may not want that from you, they may fight to bond and attach with you, they may resent you and your family.  He/she may have numerous issues that you have to deal with for several months or years before the healing can really begin and just when you feel like you have finally made some progress, it may just happen that they move out of your home only to start all over again.  There are days when Thad and I find ourselves questioning if we really listened to what God was asking of us, if we somehow confused the “signs” from God that we were seeing.  We experience complete and utter frustration where we feel as if we are failures in our own home, in our own calling.  This mission field is not for the meek.  We are not meek, we are not perfect parents, but we are capable and we are learning.

                It is in those moments when we feel we are failing, when we question our calling, that God sends His “Earthly Angels” to lift us up and restore us. Our support system; our friends who have not been called to foster are there for us, restoring our strength, providing respite or a meal, lifting us up in prayer, just as God has called them to do.  So yes, we are all called to care for the orphans, but I am so thankful that God did not call all of us to do foster care.