What is Adoption Really Like?

 

                I am beyond blessed by the family that God has chosen for me.  People look at our family and at times call us amazing and inspiring…..sweet, kind words that make my heart smile as I know  it is His light that they are seeing and calling amazing.  But adoption is more than blessings, more than an amazing act, adoption has sadness and grief, it has pain and sorrow.

                Thad and I have experienced a few different types of adoption – private, foster to adopt, and another very unique type.  Each adoption is different, yet the same in other ways.  For us, God chose ¾ of our children to be born from another’s tummy, but all to be born from our hearts.  Each of our 3 adopted children had come to us in different ways, but all have come from places of hurt.  When I think about how blessed I am to be the mother of these children and how crazy in love I am with each of them, I also think about the loss that had to happen in order for these children to be my babies.  Private adoption or foster to adopt, another person had to feel pain and/or sacrifice when they chose an adoption plan for their baby or when their child was taken away from them by the state because they were not in a position where they could safely raise him/her.  My children will always have a sense of wonder about their biological families and my children that had a life with their biological parents will grieve that loss. 

                Adopting is the most incredible journey; it is an experience of unconditional love, courage, growth, and for us a complete walk in faith.  Adopting has been the magical key that has grown and completed our family. I look at my children and even though they are all different shades of beauty, I forget that they were not born of my body.  Each day I am so thankful for my “God Chosen” family and my heart is overwhelmed with joy and love, and as I look into their faces I am reminded of the pain and sorrow that had to occur in order for us to gain these blessings.  For the mother that specifically chose us to be the adoptive parents of her daughter, I have an unexplainable love for her.  I see her in my daughter’s face and my gratitude cannot be expressed with words, then in the same breath my heart hurts for her because I know her decision was not easy.  I will live each day acknowledging the sacrificial choice she made and I love her deeply for it.  When I look into the face of one of my sons, I am reminded of the trauma that had to occur for him to be with us.  Even though the circumstances of his birth mother’s life were the cause of him being with us, I grieve for her as the loss was not her choice – even though he would not be safe with her, she still loved him the best she could.  For the family member who loves the child so much that they chose for him to be in a family with a mom and a dad, they grieve and hurt too because of the sacrifice they have made.   Adoption is my heart, caring for the orphan is my passion; it has brought so much happiness and joy into our lives, and it has completed our family.... I just wish it didn't come at the price of pain for someone else.

                I am so thankful for the ability to adopt and for our beautiful family, but I will always struggle knowing  the pain others had to feel in order for our children to be brought into our lives.