Check Mate

 

               God seriously has the best sense of humor. I truly mean that, even with the slightest hint of sarcasm inserted! Every time I have mad e up my mind, set a firm and planted path or decision, He challenges me as if to say, “Check mate, what’s your next move?”  Of course my desire is often to just stick the path I feel is right for me, for our family; but Thad and I are diligent in praying and earnestly seeking God’s will…no matter how much we like our plans better.

                Five months ago we were a very noisy, busy, chaotic, and loving household of 6.  That magic number that can fill up two rows of seats on an airplane, fits perfectly at a large dining table in a restaurant (without adding a whole other table, which means waiting an extra 20 minutes to be seated), comfortably can sit on 2 sofas in the family room, ….you get the picture. A family of 6 felt like a large family but was still very comfortable.  Yup, our life was COMFORTABLE; which by definition means, being in a state of physical or mental comfort; contented and undisturbed; at ease.  Ahhhh…such a nice feeling.

                In early June God challenged us once again.  We had decided that we were a perfectly content family of 6 and that our adoption and possibly even our fostering days were coming to an end.  Life was settling into a routine, kids were adjusting, and we were feeling as though things were manageable even in the midst of the struggles you face when you have children who have experienced trauma, neglect, abuse and attachment disorders. Comfort settled in and then came the text, “Nicole, I know it’s late but call me once you get up, I have something exciting to tell you.”  For whatever reason I was still awake and seeing a text like that got me very curious and rather than responding in the morning, I responded then.  I was thinking that perhaps this friend I admired so much was just going to tell me that she was desiring to come work for YFC with me or something else very cool.  However, to my surprise and shock her response was nothing I could have anticipated.  The following words resonated fear in my heart, “I have a 13 year old girl that I think you should adopt.  Your family will be blessed by her and I feel like God is telling me you are the family”.  As my mind swirled around the thoughts of “What the heck? Are you crazy?  Funny joke, not!  Why us?  Are you sure you heard  God right?”  I respond with, “Wow, I don’t know about this. It will really have to be God’s will, we were really just discussing being done.”   

A week of prayer and conversation ensued as we battled the fears and uncomfortable angst of adding another child, especially a teen to our home.  Diligently we prayed, struggling with the questions of how will we afford a 5^th child; huge grocery bills, college funds, driving in 3 years, etc?  How will Elena do no longer being the oldest?  How will the rest of the kids react, adjust?  How will we fit the whole family at our dining table that seats 6?  How will we afford nice vacations, let alone fit on a plane?? Our fears were a matter of this world, not a matter of the heart, not a matter of what God can and will provide when we accept His challenge. 

 

As we looked at her photograph, her dark brown, beautiful and longing eyes called out to us and it was evident that she was to be our daughter. Rendering all control to God we stepped out in faith, saying “yes” to this gorgeous teen who is filled with so much humor, spunk, and love.  After all, there is always room for one more, as my mother in law loves to remind us.  .

We were certain five months ago that our family was complete, that we had the most ridiculously beautiful family there could be. Saying yes was scary. It was hard and uncomfortable.  When Jesus chose to die for our sins, he did not die a convenient and comfortable death; he endured the most torturous death one could ever experience.  As a believer we are not called to lead comfortable lives, He desires us to grow, and to bear our crosses daily.  Luke 9:23  ²³ And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. ²⁴ For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.”  Bringing our daughter home has blessed us in ways we could never have foreseen.  She has made our family even more beautiful and complete.  I have one more best friend in my home that I get to call my daughter.  How empty our hearts (and hers) would be had we settled for comfort.