Saturday, December 28, 2013

Our Daily Bread


                Most Friday nights I am in a warm, cozy place, entertained by the hustle and busyness of my home or excitedly playing on the ball field.  Last night was a very different night for me. The air was very damp and the cold snuck in rapidly through your shoes, biting your toes until they were literally numb.  Talking and breathing made the night air look as though billows of smoke were rising out of chimneys.  I was only in these conditions 2 short hours, bundled in a manner that seemed very appropriate for the weather conditions, yet I was still a cold mess in the end.

As the Union Gospel Mission van pulled into each stop I witnessed worlds I had never fully known before. Sure, I knew there were people who were homeless, I knew that some were simply circumstantial or situational poverty, others were struggling with addictions and/or mental illness, and some were teens who simply thought couch surfing was a better way to go than to be within the walls of their own home; but I had never known the communal feeling amongst those who were homeless.  I had never spoken with them, gotten to know their story, or even placed myself within their world.  I will be completely honest, I had never done these things because I didn’t know how to and there was fear of that unknown world. 

Our first stop was to a local church that allowed people to sleep in their cars on their property. The drivers referred to this spot as the “car campers”. It was a very quick stop as there was only one man there that evening, “Lance” (name changed for privacy).  It was touching to get to know Lance; even in the short 5 minutes we were there, I felt as though I knew the story of this man’s life.  After handing him a couple of sandwiches, hot cocoa, and a candy cane he shared with me all about his job, his 4 kids, even about the painful loss of one of his daughters when she was 7 ½ months old.  The love for his family just beamed through his eyes and you could see joy enter every part of him as he spoke of his kids.  In a lot of ways I didn’t want to leave that spot.  Five minutes with this man just didn’t seem long enough, I wanted to learn more about him and watch him come alive as he reminisced.  I don’t know if he sees his children still or what type of relationship he has with them and his grandkids, but I look forward to seeing him again and learning more.  I am excited to pray with and for him.

                We only had one more stop that night and it was to a section in Kent near the food bank.  As the van backed into the parking lot, it was like a swarming of people in need began approaching from out of nowhere.  You had individuals that looked as though there was no way they could be homeless, very well kept, clean, nice clothing, etc.  Others you could see the years of hard addiction had taken a toll on their health, aged beyond their years, without a shower for days, possibly even weeks.   Some had their pets, whom they actually fed before themselves.  In this midst of the diversity of homelessness, these people came together, as family, sharing their left overs, offering their blanket to someone else, protecting each other.

                Back in a darker corner of the building was a young girl, 20 years old, homeless.  She sat there with nothing more than a thin, long-sleeved shirt (no shirt under it), and jeans.  I had given her a blanket for the night earlier in the evening and noticed she had offered it to someone else, another gal who had even more to wear than herself.  She was so meek in her appearance, withdrawn, and so broken inside.  As I sat beside her, I used her adorable little dog as an ice breaker.  I sat with her for some time, learning a great deal about what lead her to this place in life at such a young age.  As we spoke, I watched how tentatively and lovingly she cared for her dog.  More than once she mentioned how her dog, Grace Kelly, has kept her alive. Each day she thinks about ending her life, but the love for her dog and the inability to “abandon” her dog as she had been abandoned by so many in her life is what keeps her strong.  We spoke for about 20 minutes before she had to leave and find a place to sleep for the night. I naively believed that going into this position I would be able to somehow connect with and hopefully help out someone in need.  God used that 20 minutes to touch my life and speak clearly to me.  This young lady shared with me that she had been a foster child; moved from home to home, never adopted, and eventually aged out of the system.  Through tears she shared with me her experience of pushing families away because she knew they didn’t really want her for forever, she couldn’t trust any of them to just simply love her and have her as their own.  Her words spoke of the brokenness of our system, the brokenness of foster parents, the brokenness of the kids placed in foster care.  Her words, “These kids just need to be loved through their pain, not given up on. They just need to be loved.” Played over and over in my head throughout the rest of the evening, into my dreams, and even more so today.  We have been struggling with our son David.  Parenting a child who has been abused, neglected, and abandoned is a challenge that I can’t describe.  I had been in prayer so much yesterday asking God for His guidance, for an answer of what to do and in her words I could hear him saying so clearly what I needed to do.  My prayer now is that someone in this young lady’s life will step up and not give up on her, that they will love her through her pain, pull her in as she pushes them away; before her dog is no longer able to save her life.

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